would you erase me?

and all i could do was try...

...but you didn't. you gave up.

i wish i hadn't seen all of the realness
and all the real people are really not real at all
the more i learn, the more i learn
the more i cry, the more i cry
as i say goodbye to the way of life
i thought i had designed for me

then i see you standing there
wanting more from me
and all i can do is try
then i see you standing there
i'm all i'll ever be
but all i can do is try
try



all of the moments that already passed
we'll try to go back and make them last
all of the things we want each other to be
we never will be, we never will be
and that's wonderful
and that's life
and that's you, baby
this is me, baby
and we are, we are, we are, we are
free
in our love
we are free in our love

you don't give a shit anyway.

.
honestly
what will become of me
don't like reality
it's way too clear to me
but really life is daily
we are what we don't see
missed everything
daydreaming.

flames to dust
lovers to friends
why do all good things
come to an end?


- nelly furtado

regina-ah-ah-aaaah.

i bought myself a white 30gb apple ipod a few days ago. i named her "regina" after regina spektor because i adore the way you pronounce this name (listen to her "pavlov's daughter" song, 1:11min and you'll know what i mean). it was more of an impulse buy on ebay but my old 30gb creative zen nx conked out some while ago anyway. my new ipod has a color display and plays videos. nifty, huh? plus i even start to like itunes...!

incidentally, i was in istanbul the last two weeks. it was crazy, this city is so huge and exhausting yet fascinating. my cousin finally took me to places like the hagia sophia and this beautiful cistern (yerebatan saray) which reminded me of the good ol' tomb raider games. i'm such a nerd. i also took a lot of pictures (over 700!) which i'll probably post over at my photoblog sometime. not all of 'em, of course. :p

apart from that, the new semester starts next week and i'm anxious about that. i haven't even decided whether to change my minor subject or not. the sky is getter darker, it's getting colder. finally, tea time again! and i'm still worrying my head off about too many things. i need distraction. sports, arts, anything. but my room is a mess, i have no space to dance. my room is so tiny, i have no space to think. it's crushing me. at least i could take my ipod and dance away in the night...if there weren't so many drunk students around. oh and the ogres in the woods, of course.